


What Led Us Here

by YeetYeetStanJohnny



Series: What Led Us Here [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-22 04:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 14,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17655836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeetYeetStanJohnny/pseuds/YeetYeetStanJohnny
Summary: Johnny Seo only had two things on his mind: how he'd managed to get lead poisoning, and how the recent death of his best friend, Ten, was his fault. Then Lee Taeyong shows up in his hospital room, six years after his disappearance, and Johnny is forced to realise just how much Taeyong had lied to them all.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a 500 hundred word English assignment, and somehow turned into this angsty mess of a fanfic.  
> Sorry for any errors, I haven't got anyone to beta.

Johnny was in the hospital. This was not unusual, considering he worked in one. What was unusual, however, was that he did not work in this particular hospital.He was there as a patient, for lead poisoning of all things.

How Johnny had managed to get lead poisoning, he did not know, but he was sure of two things.

One, he definitely had lead poisoning, and two, it maybe, probably, definitely had something to do with his friend, Ten. Johnny wished that he could talk to Ten about the whole lead poisoning thing, but that would be impossible, given the current circumstances. Johnny was in the hospital, and Ten was dead.

He'd died a week ago, but no one told Johnny until three days later.

Presumably, this was because it had also seemed likely that Johnny would die too, but he'd pulled through, by some miracle. Take that, universe, can't get rid of him that easily. 

It seemed unfair to Johnny that Ten had died and he had lived.

 For one thing, Johnny was older, so wouldn’t it make more sense if he died first? But no, it was Ten. Ten, who was a year younger, and five inches shorter. Who spoke four languages, and used to think fruits were ‘scary’, up until he was almost twenty.

Ten, who was dead and gone and never coming back. Johnny missed Ten so much it made his head ache, or maybe that was the lead poisoning.

 Screw you, lead, everyone’s least favourite metal, and now, murderer of Johnny’s friend.

His sad thoughts and pounding head were interrupted by someone walking into his hospital room. He looked up at who it was, and was taken aback.

This must be another symptom of lead poisoning no one had told him about, seeing your former friend, who dropped out of college, changed his phone number, and apparently left the country.

What the hell was Taeyong doing here? The last time Johnny saw him, Taeyong was yelling at someone on the phone, so angry that he was almost crying. And that had been six years ago! Six years of missing his friend, trying to contact him, and then eventually, giving up.

Maybe, Johnny wasn’t such a stranger to this whole ‘losing your close friend’ thing. In those six years, Johnny finished college, became a neurologist, and stopped thinking about Taeyong.

For Taeyong, during those six years, he got hot. Like, really hot. Too bad Johnny didn’t give a shit.

Screw you, Taeyong (not literally), for abandoning your friends and never contacting them ever again. For thinking that you could just pretend to be a good person and care, now that one former friend is dead, and another wishes he was.

‘Look, I know you’re still mad at me for what I did’ 

Taeyong began, looking more nervous than he had the right to.

‘For what? For abandoning all your friends six years ago? And for only turning up now that Ten is dead? What are you gonna do, steal his body? Don’t bother, you’ll probably just end up with lead poisoning, and trust me, it’s not very fun.’

Johnny felt furious at Taeyong, which was a nice change from how he’d been feeling since he found out about Ten, which was sad and in pain.

'How’d you even find out, anyway? Didn’t you change your phone number?’

Taeyong went from looking nervous to looking almost embarrassed.

‘Instagram, Doyoung’s account is public, and he posted something saying how he was praying that you’d live, even if you wouldn’t have Ten anymore.’

Johnny didn’t know how to respond to that, but he figured questioning Taeyong’s apparent Instagram stalking was a good place to start.

‘Why were you looking at Doyoung’s account? You abandoned him six years ago, you know, like you did with the rest of us.'

Johnny’s voice sounded cold, and his words were harsh.

‘I don’t have an answer for that, and I’m sorry. Not just for Instagram stalking your friend, but for leaving you all, and not giving a reason why.'

Taeyong looked genuinely upset as he spoke, so Johnny assumed that meant he wasn’t lying. Either that, or Taeyong was one hell of an actor.

'So, why did you leave, then?’

It was a question that Taeyong wasn’t expecting, which was kinda stupid, because he should have been prepared to answer that. He’d finally shown up after six years, so why wouldn’t he think anyone would have questions? There was an awkward silence for a minute, until Taeyong finally spoke up.

'You should get some sleep, and I'll leave.'

Screw you, Taeyong.

Johnny watched him leave, and part of him was grateful that he could sleep. Lead poisoning, mixed with a dead friend, mixed with a former friend can really tire someone out.

Well, Johnny was already tired before Taeyong had shown up. He’d been tired for months, actually. The fatigue was a symptom of lead poisoning, along with the aches in his joints, the headaches, and the insomnia.

How Johnny never realised he and Ten were sick, he didn’t know. He was a neurologist, for God’s sake, he’s treated people suffering from the effects of lead poisoning. When you stop to think, it really is all his fault, isn’t it?

It’s his fault that he never noticed how sick they were getting, it’s his fault that he’s in the hospital, and it’s his fault that Ten is dead.

If Johnny had just been smarter, if he’d payed attention to their symptoms, none of this past week would have happened.He wouldn’t be in the hospital, Ten wouldn’t be in the morgue, and Taeyong wouldn’t be in the country, thinking about his past mistakes.

What would his friends think? What would they think if they knew that it was, technically speaking, all Johnny’s fault? What would Doyoung do? Would he delete his Instagram posts, about how much he was praying for Johnny to make it? What would Ten’s family do, if they knew that their son’s best friend was the one who technically caused his death?

What would _his_ family do? How would they deal with that news, all the way across the Pacific Ocean?

Johnny didn’t have the answers to any of these, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what they were. Would his friends wish that it had been him who died, instead of Ten? Would Ten’s family wish that too? Would Taeyong? 

Actually, Johnny didn’t want to know what Taeyong would think of him. He’d long since stopped caring about anything to do with Taeyong, six years will do that to a person.

He thought about what his family would think of him, instead. He wondered if anyone had told them the news yet, that he was in the hospital, and that his friend was dead. Part of him hoped that they hadn’t, that no one would tell them, so that he could recover and pretend that none of this happened to him. But, he’d have to find a way to explain Ten’s death. Maybe lying to his entire family wasn’t the best idea for how to deal with things. That’s usually never a good idea.

Johnny gave up on his answerless questions, and fell asleep

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it for the first chapter! Please let me know what you think of it! Any comments or kudos would be highly appreciated!


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for any errors

Doyoung came to visit him the next day.

It went exactly as well as Johnny thought it would, all concerned looks and rhetorical questions about how he was feeling. Obviously, the answer was that he was feeling terrible, so why Doyoung bothered asking, he didn’t know.

Probably because that’s the normal thing for friends to do when you’re in the hospital. Not come back after six years of no contact and make no attempts to explain yourself. Thinking about what happened with Taeyong yesterday made his head hurt, or maybe that was still the lead poisoning.

Johnny suddenly realised that Doyoung was looking at him, face expectant. He must have asked Johnny a question, but he had stopped listening.

‘Sorry, what did you say? I was thinking about… something else.’

Johnny apologised.

‘I asked if anyone else’s been to visit you.’

He wasn’t sure whether to lie to Doyoung, or to tell him the truth, about Taeyong coming back.

‘Yeah, you’re the second person who’s come to see me.’

Johnny wasn’t technically lying, but he still felt like he was. He _had_ told the truth, just not all of it.

‘This is random, but have you heard anything about Taeyong lately?'

Great choice of question there, Johnny, now you have to tell him about what happened yesterday. Doyoung looked confused, which was understandable.

‘Taeyong? No, not since he… you know, ran away.’

Doyoung looked even more puzzled. He probably thought Johnny had lost it, that the lead poisoning had given him brain damage, the kind that only presents itself through asking really stupid questions.

‘Taeyong’s here.’

He blurted it out, not sure why he was telling Doyoung this.

‘Wait, like in the hospital?’

If there was such a thing as a world record for the most confusion shown on one person's face, Doyoung had definitely earned it by now.

‘No, but he’s in Korea. He was here yesterday, he came to see me.’

This conversation was not going well. Johnny hadn’t been planning on telling anyone, or at least, not telling anyone until he'd had some time to actually think about what the fuck that conversation had been. Now, he was going to have to tell the whole story to Doyoung, or at least part of it. Great going there, Johnny.

‘Why? Why would he come back now? Is it because of what happened to you and… Ten?’

Doyoung paused before saying Ten’s name, like he thought it would upset Johnny.

Which was half true. Johnny did not particularly enjoy thinking about Ten, not since he’d found out about his death. But he wasn’t going to talk about Ten, not right now, anyway.

So he looked into Doyoung’s confused, sad face, and began telling the story of what exactly happened when Taeyong came to visit, Instagram stalking, unanswered questions, and every detail in between.

It had taken longer to explain yesterday’s events than Johnny thought it would. He found it difficult to find the right words, like his brain was lagging.

It didn’t help that Doyoung kept interrupting, asking questions about what Taeyong’s expression was like, and the tone with which he spoke. To an outsider’s perspective, they must’ve sounded like they were discussing a first date, or something similar.

That was far from the case, which would become clear if the outsider listened a bit longer, and heard Doyoung’s many interjections about how he couldn’t believe that Taeyong ‘apologised’ for running away, but still never said _why_ he did it.

Johnny ended his recount with the awkward silence, followed by Taeyong telling him to sleep. Doyoung looked visibly annoyed with Taeyong, saying how it was such an anti-climatic ending. 

‘I still can’t believed he basically ignored all your questions! I mean, he comes back after six years, and he _still_ has no answers for why he left in the first place?!’

Johnny nodded his agreement at Doyoung’s complaint.

‘He _did_ answer the one about how he found out about what happened to me and Ten.’

Doyoung looked even more annoyed at that, but with a tinge of grief at the mention of Ten.

‘He found out by Instagram stalking me! Who does that?! He changes his number, and never talks to us ever again, but apparently, he just creeps around on all our Instagrams!’ 

Johnny winced at the volume of Doyoung’s voice. One of the most annoying symptoms of lead poisoning, he'd discovered, was the near-constant headache, and with it, an inability to tolerate bright light, or slightly loud sounds. Such as Doyoung ranting about how pissed off he was about Taeyong. He had a right to be pissed, but could he please do it a little bit quieter?

‘Do you think he came back _because_ of what happened to me and Ten?’

Doyoung clearly wasn’t expecting him to ask this question, judging by how his facial expression went from annoyed, to surprised, to sorrow, because of Johnny mentioning their recently deceased friend.

‘Do you… want to talk about Ten? I mean, about him and Taeyong?’

The tone of their conversation had done a complete 180. After all, it _had_ only been a week since Ten's untimely death, so the pain of losing him was still incredibly fresh in their minds. Especially for Johnny, since he'd only had five days to process the news of his best friend's passing.

‘Ten and Taeyong were close, not as close as I was with Ten, obviously, but still, they were close. I remember that Ten was definitely the most upset out of us all after Taeyong disappeared, or ran away, or whatever the fuck he did.’ 

Johnny had mentioned Ten twice before in this conversation, and it only made him feel slightly more depressed than usually.

So why did it hurt so damn much now? Because he’d mentioned more than just Ten’s name this time? Because he’d said that he and Ten were close? Because he’d said it in the past tense, meaning, Ten was dead?

Whatever reason it was, and it was probably all of them, Johnny didn’t want to talk about Ten anymore.

He didn't want to talk, period.

So, instead of bringing up more memories of the time before Taeyong left, he apologised for bringing up Ten, and Doyoung said that he was going to go home, but he’d come visit tomorrow. They said their goodbyes, and Johnny watched as Doyoung left. It was only then, when he was alone, that Johnny realised that he'd been crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter done! Doyoung makes his first appearance! Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought of it! Or just a kudos, if you're enjoying it so far! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early birthday, Johnny! Sorry for everything that happens to you in this.

Johnny awoke the next day, to someone grabbing his shoulders and shaking them. He opened his eyes, and saw that it was Doyoung.

‘It is way too early for you to wake me up like this.’

Johnny complained, but Doyoung just laughed at him.

‘It’s one o’clock, you’ve slept enough, and don’t you dare bring up lead poisoning as an excuse. You slept less yesterday, so you should be fine now.’

That wasn't how lead poisoning-induced fatigue worked, considering that it was chronic, but Doyoung was smiling as he said this, so Johnny decided that it was for the best if he didn’t argue.

‘Look, I just wanted to see how you were doing, after what we talked about yesterday.’

Doyoung looked serious now, and Johnny knew that he should be truthful with his friend.

‘I’m…, honestly, I’m doing terrible. Everything hurts, physically and emotionally. I feel like the treatment hasn't been doing anything. I'm so fucking tired all the time. I wish that everything could just go back to the way it was before, when Taeyong was still here, and Ten was still alive. But I know that’s impossible, and it kills me.’

Doyoung was shocked at how honest Johnny had been with him, he hadn’t expected for him to say so much, or to bring up their friendship with Taeyong, and how much he missed it. 

‘Sorry… I said too much. I’m sorry.’

Doyoung shook his head.

‘Don’t apologise, I asked you, and you answered. I just wasn’t expecting it, that's all.’

There was an awkward pause, since neither of them knew what to do, or to say. It lasted for a minute, until Doyoung finally spoke up.

‘I think that it’s best if we don’t bring up certain past events, for the time being.’

Johnny wasn’t quite sure what those certain events were, but he assumed that it meant no more talking about Taeyong.

‘So, no bringing up Taeyong, and his disappearing act?’

Doyoung nodded.

‘Also, I think we shouldn’t bring up Ten.’

Johnny been expecting Doyoung to say a number of things, but exactly zero of those involved Ten, and a negative number of those things involved being practically banned from talking about him.

‘Why the hell can’t we talk about Ten?! He was our friend, he's fucking _dead_!’

Johnny was _pissed_ at Doyoung. How dare he say that? Ten died, so shouldn’t they talk about him? It was the elephant in the room, whenever anyone asked how Johnny was doing, there was always an unspoken ‘since Ten died.’ Johnny and Ten were incredibly close, and Doyoung knew this better than anyone else. So why shouldn’t he be able to talk about his best friend? His  _dead_ best friend?

‘ _This_ is why we shouldn’t bring up Ten. Because you either pretend that it doesn’t bother you, or you have a borderline mental breakdown! How is that good for you? How do you think you’re going to get better, if you can’t handle anyone bringing him up? Do you just think that you can live your life without people talking about what happened to you and Ten?!’

Doyoung paused to catch his breath. He avoided looking at Johnny, but he could tell that what he was saying was definitely not what he wanted to hear.

‘Do you honestly think that everyone’s just going to pretend none of this ever happened? Because that is the furthest thing from the truth. _Everyone_ will bring this up. You can’t just ignore all the grief, and hope that it goes away. That’s not how it works.’

Now, Doyoung was mad. This conversation was _not_ going well. In fact, it was currently comparable to a flaming dumpster.

Why couldn’t Johnny just deal with his grief like a normal person, instead of being so one way or another about it?

‘Doyoung, get the fuck out.’

Johnny’s voice did not sound like it belonged to the Johnny that Doyoung knew. They’d never argued like this before, not even over petty things, as friends usually did. So, to hear Johnny speak like this, heavy with anger, came as a shock to him.

‘Johnny, just listen to me. It’s not doing you any good, to keep pushing all your emotions inside. I'm trying to help you here.'

Doyoung pleaded, but it was useless. Johnny was clearly not going to listen to anything that he had to say. He decided that it wasn’t worth it, to stay here and keep yelling at each other. So, Doyoung left. And a piece of Johnny left with him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just in: I can't write dialogue to save my life. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this chapter, or just a kudos! Next chapter's a bit longer than the previous ones, so look forward to it!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any errors

Johnny couldn’t sleep that night. He was so tired, but he just couldn’t fall asleep.

What Doyoung had said to him kept replaying in his mind, an endless loop of ‘We shouldn’t bring up Ten’, ‘How do you think you’re going to get better?’, and ‘You can’t just ignore all the grief’.

He had never seen Doyoung so angry before, not even at Taeyong. It had scared him, hearing the harsh words that spilled from Doyoung’s lips. Johnny had no idea that Doyoung was capable of sounding so cruel, he would have never even imagined that.

But, the argument wasn’t all Doyoung’s fault. It was Johnny’s, as well. He’d raised his voice first, and he’d made Doyoung leave. Johnny knew that it was wrong of him to kick Doyoung out, that his friend _was_ trying to make a point.

But what did Doyoung know about Johnny’s grief? Doyoung wasn’t him, Doyoung didn’t understand Johnny’s feelings, how he blamed himself for not noticing that they were sick, and how he had the weight of Ten’s death on his shoulders.

Doyoung didn’t have to deal with Taeyong showing up, and Doyoung definitely didn’t have to deal with being stuck in the hospital, with constantly being left alone with your own thoughts.

Lucky Doyoung, Johnny thought, all he has to deal with is a dead friend and a sick one, instead of being the reason for the dead friend being dead, and almost dying as well. Lucky, lucky Doyoung.

A part of Johnny hoped that Doyoung would come back, that they could make up. They might have said some terrible things to each other, but, to Johnny, Doyoung was all he had. With Ten dead, Taeyong gone, and his family living on the other side of the Pacific Ocean , Doyoung was the only person who was  _there_ for Johnny.

He had other friends, from college, and co-workers, who he was friendly with, but none as close as Doyoung. It _had_ been the four of them, Johnny, Ten, Doyoung, and Taeyong. They were incredibly close, and seemingly, held no secrets from the others.

Unless you were one Lee Taeyong, who must’ve had so many secrets, that he abandoned his friends, his family, his _life,_ and ran away, to an unknown destination. Fuck you, Taeyong, for leaving everyone, and for never saying why.

Fuck you, Doyoung, for telling Johnny to not mention Ten, and for telling him what to do with his grief, like it was any of his business.

And fuck you, Ten, for dying. It was night, and Johnny was alone. Well and truly alone.

Doyoung walked home from work. It was what he did almost every day, unless it was raining and/or snowing.

Usually, he never crossed paths with anyone he knew, always walking through the unfamiliar crowd of strangers.  Usually, the crowd would thin out as he got closer to his home, until he was walking alone.  Tonight, he was not alone, and the gods must’ve been playing a cruel trick on him.

Because what other explanation was there, for Doyoung to come across Taeyong, of all people? What was it, if not the decision of a god with a twisted sense of humor? 

He would have just kept walking, and wouldn’t have noticed, if not for Taeyong grabbing his arm and pulling him back. Doyoung was speechless at him, at the friend who ran away six years ago.

Was this how Johnny had felt? At least Johnny would’ve had a reason to assume that Taeyong was a hallucination.

‘What do you want with me?’

Doyoung still wasn’t sure if Taeyong was actually real, but this seemed like an reasonable thing to ask, hallucination or not.

‘I want to talk. But, not here. Somewhere else.’

Doyoung wasn’t sure why he agreed to this, or why he let Taeyong pull him along, until they arrived at an empty park. This did _not_ seem like a good place to talk, it looked better suited for a murder. Maybe that was Taeyong’s plan. 

‘There’s a lot of things to talk about. Why are you here? Why did you leave? Why did you go visit Johnny?’

Taeyong looked nervous, just like how Johnny had described him.

‘I don’t want to talk about Johnny.’

Doyoung couldn’t help but laugh at that.

‘I don’t want to talk to you, but here we are. So, spill it. Why did you come back?’

Why was Taeyong so goddamn irritating? He starts the conversation by saying that he wanted to talk, but hen refuses to talk about what Doyoung wants him to.

‘I don’t have a reason, I don’t know why I left, and I don’t know what I’m doing here.’

There he goes again, being the irritating Lee Taeyong, avoiding answering everything, just how Johnny had so fondly described him.

Doyoung was just… done. Done with Taeyong, done with this day, done with everything that had been going on recently. So, he decided to deal with it the only way he could think of.

By punching Taeyong in the face, yelling at him to ‘go to hell’, and finally, running away.

Great job, Doyoung, that was definitely the best possible choice. Now, Taeyong will probably call the police, say that you assaulted him (because you did), and then, you’ll get arrested. What a genius move.

It wasn’t until he’d ran all the way home, that Doyoung actually stopped to look at his hand. Which was starting to throb, and there was blood smeared across his knuckles. Taeyong’s blood. Doyoung was _fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New drinking game: take a shot every time it says 'Doyoung' in this chapter. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this! Please leave a comment or a kudos! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them!

Taeyong’s face hurt, and he was sure that his nose was still bleeding.

When did Doyoung learn how to throw a punch like that? Sometime during the six years that Taeyong had missed, maybe. That didn’t make sense to Taeyong, though. Doyoung wasn’t the fighting type, or the type to resort to any form of violence. Or, maybe he was, but he’d just never mentioned it to his friends.

Friends should keep some things secret from each other. Taeyong certainly did. He wasn’t sure about the others. He had thought that they were either stupid, or very trusting, for telling each other all those things. Or maybe they were stupidly trusting.

Taeyong’s head hurt, somewhere deep inside his skull. That was probably not a good sign. He would google it, but his phone was dead. He wasn’t sure how long it’d been dead, or where his charger was.

Taeyong was a mess. What had he been thinking, coming back to Korea, after all these years away? His closest friend was dead, his other friends hated him, and he was pretty sure that his family had forgotten that he existed. Or maybe they just gave up looking for him. Taeyong wasn’t sure, but t seemed likely. To his mind, at least. Was that what happened when sons go missing? Did their families stop looking after a set amount of time, and just give up?

He hadn't really had a say in whether or not he should stay in Korea anyway,  so everyone should just stop blaming him. Well, only Johnny and Doyoung blamed him. Ten was dead, and Taeyong didn’t know where his family lived anymore. He’d forgotten the address.

He didn’t have a say in whether to leave Korea or not, when he left those six years ago. He didn’t have a choice.

It was either that he left, and never contacted anyone he knew ever again, or _they_ find him and leave his dead body in an alleyway. Maybe, _they_ would’ve gone for his friends first, or maybe his family.

Taeyong hated _them_ , despised _them_ with his entire being. He’d never done anything to  _them_ , but _they_ had ruined his life. Taeyong had made mistakes in his past, and this was his karma.

He had no information about his tormentors, but they’d still ruined his entire life. And maybe, just maybe, they’d ruined his friends’ lives, too. Ruined Ten’s life, by taking it. Ruined Johnny’s, by making him _wish_ they took his. And ruined Doyoung’s, by sparing him, to pick up the pieces, and hold it all together.

This was why Taeyong had come back, to find  _them,_ and hopefully, to stop  _them._  But he had no idea how to do that, and now, he had a broken nose, and probably, a concussion.

So much for being the hero, Taeyong had no doubts that he was the villain of this story. To Johnny, Doyoung, and his family, he was nothing but a villain, a person to despise. Taeyong hated that, but, he couldn’t change it. He couldn't do anything about it.

There were many things that Johnny had grown used to in his hospital life, such as the constant blood tests, and doctors avoiding answering how much longer treatment would continue.

One thing he wasn’t used to was the visits. Well, he’d only had three visits, and two of them had gone terrible. It still made the idea of hospital visits unpredictable, to Johnny. This was definitely the most unpredictable visit, hands down.

First, Johnny had woken up to a certain Lee Taeyong standing there, which scared the hell out of him. Not just because it was Taeyong, but also, because Taeyong looked _terrible_. As in, fallen-down-a-flight-of-stairs-face-first terrible. 

'What happened to you?'

Johnny had asked, and the answer he received raised even more questions. 

Apparently, Taeyong had ran into Doyoung, tried to talk to him, and Doyoung had punched him in the face and left.

Johnny didn’t believe this, Doyoung, _punching_ Taeyong? Was Taeyong on crack? Was _Doyoung?_ Was Johnny still asleep, and this was just a really weird dream? He didn’t know what to ask next, but it seemed clear that Doyoung had indeed punched Taeyong in the face, judging by, well, Taeyong's face.

‘What did you say to him?’

Johnny hoped that today would be the day that Taeyong actually answered his questions, instead of offering apologies for not having any reasons for doing anything. Which was really fucking annoying.

‘I said the same things I said to you, about how I didn’t have any answers for what I did. Guess that pissed him off.'

Taeyong looked nervous. Why was he always nervous? It was annoying. 

‘Yeah, I kinda wanted to punch you when you said that.’

Taeyong seemed understanding, which Johnny took to mean that he knew that he was annoying. Or that he knew they thought he was annoying.

‘I lied.’

Wait. What the actual fuck, Taeyong?

‘Just then?’

Was Johnny hallucinating, or had Taeyong just admitted to lying about what happened with Doyoung? Shit, maybe Johnny was the one on crack.

‘I lied when I said I didn’t know.’

Johnny had absolutely no clue what to do next. Should he punch Taeyong? Tell him to fuck off? Or should he make Taeyong explain exactly _why_ he lied about what happened six years ago? He decided that the third option would be the best. Johnny was not in any position to punch anyone, and Taeyong would probably appreciate not getting punched. Again.

‘Then why? Why did you leave? You can’t say that you don’t know, because you do. Tell me.’

Johnny needed to know why Taeyong left. He’d spent six goddamn years wondering why, and now, he finally had the chance.

‘Oh, god, this is going to make me sound crazy. I’m not crazy, I swear. This happened. I’m not crazy.'

Taeyong looked serious, so Johnny didn’t question why he had to clarify that he wasn’t crazy. He seemed to be clarifying it to himself, anyway. What _had_ happened to Taeyong? Why would it make him sound crazy?

‘I did some bad things, Johnny. I’m sorry.’

Johnny opened his mouth to ask just what those bad things were, but Taeyong cut him off.

‘Don’t ask. Just, I did bad things. Bad, stupid things that have ruined my entire life.’

Johnny didn't know how the fuck he was supposed to respond to that. What had Taeyong _done_ , that was so bad he had to leave the country? Johnny simultaneously wanted to know, and didn’t. He wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Taeyong looked at him, to check if it was okay for him to continue. Johnny nodded, and Taeyong continued speaking. Johnny listened, and his heart shattered, at just what his friend had been through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's chapter five done! Finally, some answers as to what happened to Taeyong! Who do you think 'they' are? Please let me know what you think in the comments!


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! Have fun spending reading this!

Johnny had waited six years for Taeyong, waited for him to come back, and for him to tell why he left. Now that Johnny had those answers, he had no clue what to do with them. It was true that he’d missed Taeyong, but it was also true that part of Johnny hated Taeyong. Hated him, for running away.

That part of Johnny had disappeared, now that he finally knew Taeyong’s reason for running away. Because he thought he was going to be _murdered_. Or, if not him, his friends and family would be. Including Johnny, and the recently deceased Ten. 

‘So, you came back because you think that _they_ killed Ten?’

Taeyong nodded. He couldn’t seem to look Johnny in the eye.

‘Yeah, that’s why. It sounds stupid now, doesn’t it? Considering Ten died of lead poisoning. But I didn’t know that until I came here.’

Ten died of lead poisoning, but Taeyong had thought that people from his past had killed him. Should he tell Taeyong the truth about it, that it was his fault Ten died? He thought that it probably wasn’t the best thing to bring up now, so he just stayed quiet.

‘Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have brought up the whole ‘lead poisoning’ thing.’

Johnny shook his head.

‘It’s fine. You didn’t know how Ten died, and now you do. Lead poisoning. Same thing I’ve got.’

Johnny did not particularly enjoy talking about lead poisoning, but he couldn’t really avoid the topic. It _was_ the reason why he was in the hospital. Lead, everyone’s least favourite metal, had ruined his life, along with Ten’s, and Doyoung’s too.

Johnny wondering if Taeyong was going to ask questions, either about Ten, or lead poisoning. Or maybe both. 

‘What does lead poisoning do to people?’

Okay, he wasn’t expecting _that_ question. But, lucky for Taeyong, Johnny knew quite a lot about what lead poisoning could do to a person, since he’d spent the past few months being a walking textbook of symptoms. 

‘Symptoms of lead poisoning vary, it really depends on how much lead is in the person's system.’

'How bad was your lead poisoning? When you were admitted, I mean.'

This conversation was not going to be a very fun one, for both parties involved.

'The best way to put it is that there was a fuck ton of lead in my blood, and I should probably be very, very dead. Do you want me to go on?'

Johnny did not want to tell Taeyong the details of what lead poisoning felt like, but Taeyong was looking at him expectantly, so he continued.

'It started with feeling tired all the time, which I didn't think too much of. Then, insomnia on top of the fatigue. Which, by the way, is the most annoying combination of symptoms to ever exist.'

Taeyong was looking at him with concern written all over his features. Johnny carried on speaking.

'Also, constant headaches, joint pain, muscle pain, basically just constant pain everywhere.'

The next group of symptoms were, by far, the worst. They were the high level ones, the ones that had almost killed him. The ones that _had_ killed Ten.

'High level symptoms include seizures, coma, brain damage. Those are the ones that'll kill you.'

Taeyong looked shocked. Whether it was at the severity of the symptoms, or the blunt way that Johnny said them.

'Did you have. . . any of those ones?'

Johnny didn't think he wanted to tell Taeyong the exact details, and Taeyong didn’t look like he wanted to know them. So, instead, they mutually agreed to end the conversation there, and talk about it another day.

Which worked in Johnny’s favour, as he needed time to think about exactly  _what_ he was going to tell Taeyong, about the night he was admitted to hospital, and the night Ten died.

Johnny didn’t have any visitors for the next few days. Taeyong hadn’t come back to finish their conversation yet, and Doyoung was working.

He didn’t really want to talk to Doyoung, anyway. 

Not with the weight of Taeyong’s revealed past. Johnny couldn’t tell Doyoung that, it wasn’t his story to tell. But, Doyoung would definitely _not_ want to talk to Taeyong, considering how their first (and maybe only) conversation in six years had gone.

There was also the issue of Johnny and Doyoung’s latest conversation, which ended with him telling Doyoung to get the fuck out.

Johnny regretted that, he should’ve at least _tried_ to listen to Doyoung’s points, about how he couldn’t ignore his grief forever. But, Johnny was petty at heart, and so he still kept his grief locked far, far inside himself. 

Which was much more difficult than it seemed, since he spent most of his time thinking about Ten. It didn’t help that he still had the severe symptoms of lead poisoning, which was a constant reminder of how Ten had died, and how Johnny was responsible for it.

He also thought about Taeyong a lot, and he regretted spending so much time hating him for running away. It hadn’t been by choice, but they hadn’t known that at the time. It hurt to think about what had happened to Taeyong, how he thought that he was going to be _murdered._ Johnny couldn’t even imagine what that must’ve felt like, to fear for your life so much, that you have to abandon everyone you know to keep them safe.

Too bad it hadn’t worked out, Ten had still died, but at least it wasn’t by being stabbed in a alleyway, or whatever the fuck  _they_ were going to do to Taeyong.

No, instead, it was by lead poisoning, and it was on Johnny’s head. Damn, how was he going to tell Taeyong _this?_ At what point in his life had he done something so terrible, that it pissed off God or whoever was in charge, so much, that he deserved all this?

Johnny didn’t know. Maybe, it was just the cruel ways of the universe.

Fuck you, universe, just give him a break for once, why don’t you? Or at least, some decent sleep. Fuck you, insomnia. Why did lead poisoning do this? Why did it make him so tired, but unable to properly sleep? Fuck you, lead poisoning. Johnny wished that it would just end. Or that it would finally kill him. At least he'd get to see Ten if that happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's that done! Why do you think Johnny blames himself so much? Is he hiding something about how Ten died? Please let me know what you think of it in the comments! Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please let me know if you find any mistakes so I can fix them

Doyoung finally came to visit, on the two week anniversary of Ten’s untimely death. Neither of them chose to acknowledge the date.

They had started the conversation by apologising to each other. Johnny did so first, for instigating the argument, and Doyoung had apologised for the things he said about Ten, and about how Johnny was handling his death.

Johnny didn’t think that Doyoung needed to apologise, after all, Doyoung _was_ in the right. But, he did so anyway, because that’s what kind of person Doyoung was.

Johnny still couldn’t believe that he’d punched Taeyong in the face, though. The violent act seemed so out of character for Doyoung, that he had a hard time believing it was real. Which it definitely was, judging by Taeyong’s face.

So, he decided to ask, to get Doyoung’s tale of events, and also, to make sure that Taeyong hadn’t lied about it. Which, he probably hadn’t, but this  _was_ Taeyong, who had previously lied about much more important things, so Johnny thought it was best to cover all his bases.

‘Why’d you punch Taeyong in the face?’

Very straight to the point there, Johnny. Judging by Doyoung’s shocked reaction, he clearly had no idea that Taeyong had been to visit again.

‘How’d you...? Who told you?’

Doyoung obviously hadn’t thought that question through, since there was only one other person who would’ve known about Doyoung punching Taeyong, and that was Taeyong himself.

‘Taeyong told me. He was here, three days ago.’

Johnny was probably not going to be able to avoid telling Doyoung what Taeyong had said to him, about why he had left. Johnny didn’t want to tell Doyoung the story, but not because he thought Doyoung shouldn’t know it. Doyoung deserved to know the truth about why Taeyong left most of all.

Johnny couldn’t tell it because it was Taeyong’s story, and so, Taeyong should be the one to tell it. But, getting Doyoung and Taeyong to speak to each other would be very difficult, considering neither of them had any way to reach each other.

Johnny couldn't help with that either, since he was still very much stuck in hospital with a severe case of lead poisoning. For Doyoung and Taeyong to meet again, it would be basically dependent on either Doyoung’s weird luck, or Taeyong’s new habit of showing up randomly.

Which, were probably the reasons why they’d met up in the first place, now that Johnny thought about it.

‘Why was he here? You’d think he wouldn’t go back to see you, considering how your first conversation went. Did he actually talk this time? Or did he just answer ‘I don’t know’ to every question?'

Taeyong had actually talked this time, but Johnny _really_ didn’t want to tell Doyoung that.

Should he just lie to him? Should he fake a headache, and make Doyoung go home? Should he confess, and spill Taeyong’s story?

Johnny didn’t know which option to choose, and, thankfully, he didn’t have to.

Their conversation was interrupted by someone walking into his hospital room, the very someone that they had been talking about. The one and only, Lee Taeyong. _Man_ , Johnny had the world’s strangest luck. And Taeyong, clearly, had the world’s most inconvenient timing.

Unless, you were a certain Johnny Seo, in which case, the timing was pretty fucking convenient. Now, this conversation was going to get interesting. He just hoped that no one would get punched this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making this chapter so short, but I didn't want to bore you with a super long chapter! Also, sorry for leaving you on a bit of a cliffhanger! Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment with your feedback!


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for any errors. Please let me know if you find any, so I can fix them!

Taeyong immediately made to leave, as soon as he locked eyes with Doyoung. Doyoung grabbed his arm, and pulled him back. 

‘Why the fuck are you here?!’

Doyoung sounded like he _really_ wanted to fight Taeyong.

Taeyong looked terrified, which was understandable, considering that he’d been punched in the face by Doyoung, only four days prior.

‘I came to talk to Johnny. We didn’t get to finish the conversation we had last time.’

Oh _shit_ , Doyoung was going to beat up Taeyong, wasn’t he? Johnny had been thinking that this conversation couldn’t get any worse, then, Taeyong showed up, and it did.

‘Leave Johnny alone. He doesn’t want to talk to you.’

Could Doyoung just, like, chill? Johnny might be seriously ill, but he was still capable of forming his own opinions.

Taeyong was looking at him like he wanted Johnny to save him from the wrath of Kim Doyoung. Can't help you there Taeyong, unfortunately, one of the side effects of lead poisoning was _not_ new-found skills in conflict resolution. 

‘Doyoung, it’s fine. Please don’t punch him.’

See? Told you.

‘Johnny, I’m trying to help you. Taeyong is a bad person, and he shouldn’t be here. At all. He abandoned us, six fucking years ago. He shouldn’t be here.’

Ouch. Did Doyoung momentarily forget that Taeyong was still in the room, or was this his plan to make Taeyong leave? By insulting him to his face. Pretty shitty plan, if you asked Johnny. Not that he _had_ any plan, shitty or otherwise.

‘Guess I’ll leave, I can tell when I'm not wanted. It was nice seeing you again, Doyoung.’

Shit, was Taeyong crying? Did Doyoung’s words _actually_ hurt that much? 

Johnny needed Taeyong here, needed him to tell Doyoung the story of his past, about what _really_ had happened. Then, maybe, they would make up. 

Johnny needed Taeyong.

‘Stay, please. Stay here, and tell him.’

Taeyong’s expression was confused, but he soon realised exactly  _what_  Johnny wanted him to do. To tell Doyoung, who hated him with every fiber of his being, why he’d left. There was no way in hell that Taeyong wanted to do that, but, he’d started this mess, and he should end it.

‘I lied to you, Doyoung. About why I left. I’m sorry, but I’ll explain it now. So, if you could just be quiet for the next few minutes, and not interrupt me, that would be great.’

Taeyong paused for a few seconds, as he worked out how to tell his story. Doyoung clearly wanted to say something, but he kept his mouth shut.

‘I did some bad things, and don’t ask what, because you won’t get an answer for that. I did some bad things, and pissed off some people. I don't know anything about these people, but I left because of them. They were going to _kill_ me, Doyoung. I only had two options. Stay, and they kill my friends, my family, as well as me. Or I leave, and never contact anyone I know, ever again. Pretty obvious which one I chose.’

Doyoung was speechless. He felt like such a terrible person, for saying those things about Taeyong, and for punching him.

All this time, he had thought that Taeyong abandoned them by choice.

But, no, Taeyong had no choice. Either, he stayed and got killed, or he left, but never  saw his friends again.

‘Why did you come back?’

Did Doyoung really want the answer?

He wasn’t sure what he wanted. 

He’d finally gotten the answer for the question that had plagued him for six years, did he need this one? 

He looked over at Johnny, but couldn’t read his friend’s expression. Johnny had heard this before, this must’ve been what he talked about when Taeyong last visited. No wonder Johnny hadn’t wanted  to talk about it, if  _ this  _ was what he’d found out.

Man, Doyoung was the worst friend.

‘I came back because of Ten. I thought that, maybe, _they_ had killed him. But, it was lead  poisoning, so, I was way off.’

That was the answer, but Doyoung still couldn’t believe what Taeyong was saying. It made sense for why he came back, though. Ten and Taeyong had been very close, and it had killed Ten when he’d left. Then, Ten died, and that was why Taeyong had come back.

The person who’d missed Taeyong the most, who’d wanted him back the most, would never get to see him again.

The world was one cruel place.

‘I’m sorry. For punching you in the face, and for saying… well, pretty everything I've said about you.'

Johnny was surprisingly pleased with how this conversation had gone. It had gone much, much better than he’d expected. 

Doyoung knew the truth, he’d apologised, and they’d all made up.

Now, he just had to work out how to tell Taeyong his truth, about what had happened the night Ten had died, and he’d been admitted to hospital. 

But that could wait. 

For now, he was content to just be here, with Doyoung and Taeyong.

Maybe, life wasn't such a dumpster fire for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again with Johnny bringing up the night Ten died! Do you think he's hiding something? Hope you enjoyed reading this! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for suicidal-ish thoughts

Johnny had grown used to Taeyong’s surprise visits. It didn’t freak him out as much, anymore. He still worried after Taeyong left each time, though. He worried if Taeyong was going to come back, or if that would be the last time they’d see each other. He’d never tell Taeyong this, but it didn't make the thoughts go away.

Johnny still hadn’t told him the story he promised he’d finish, about high level symptoms of lead poisoning, and the night he was admitted to hospital. Taeyong had never asked about it, so either that meant he’d forgot, or he was waited for Johnny to bring it up. 

Which, was unlikely to happen, considering that Johnny wasn’t exactly sure _what_ had happened that night. He was there, of course, and he remembered small parts. But most of the things he knew about what happened came from other people, and not himself. From the police, and from nurses. They’d told when he’d woken up, in a hospital bed, with no idea how he’d ended up there.

They had to kept telling him, because he’d forget, and ask questions. Almost always, he’d ask questions about Ten. 

‘Where is Ten?'

'Is he okay?'

'Can I see him?'

At first, they’d just tell him that Ten was in the hospital. They'd never say  _where_ in the hospital, though. Eventually, he found out where Ten was. In the morgue. Because he was dead.

He was dead, and no one had told Johnny, not until three days later.

Johnny would hate the number three from that point onwards, and it haunted him. He was surrounded by threes. Three days that he hadn’t known about Ten. Three friends left instead of four. Three high level symptoms. Three syllables in his fucking _name_. He hated it.

He was trapped in this world, surrounded by reminders.  Reminders that he was the one who killed Ten. Not lead, or the people that made Taeyong leave, not _them_. It was all Johnny’s fault. He did it, and he had to live with that fact.

He wished that it’d  been him. That it would’ve been Ten in his place, but without the guilt. Maybe, without Taeyong, either. 

Would Taeyong have still come back, if had been Johnny who’d died, instead of Ten? Would he have cared as much? Who knows? Not Johnny.  Doyoung would mourn him, and avoid saying Johnny’s name, just like what he did with Ten’s.

Johnny wished that he was dead, and Ten was alive. He’d be easier to get over, for both Ten and Doyoung. Ten wouldn’t have to deal with the fact that he’d caused Johnny’s death, unlike how Johnny had to deal with how he’d caused Ten’s. If Johnny had died, it would have just been easier.

Fuck, how was he supposed to tell Taeyong _this?_ How was he supposed to tell _Doyoung_? Just casually spill it into a conversation, 

‘Hey, did you guys know that Ten’s dead because of me? Because it’s true. I am responsible for the death of an actual human being. Also, I’ve spent hours wishing that I was the dead one, as well.'

Yeah, that would go down _great._

Johnny couldn’t stop thinking it, though. Ten was dead, it was his fault, and if he could be granted one wish, it would be that he would’ve died in Ten’s place. Those were the things that haunted him.

Along with threes, constant headaches, and an overwhelming feeling that his friends already knew the truth, and hated him for it.

Johnny's life was a fucked up mess, and he was responsible for it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a bit angsty, sorry. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading! Please leave me feedback!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any errors!

Doyoung came to visit exactly three weeks after Ten had died. This time, he chose to acknowledge the date, by mentioning at the very start of the conversation. 

Doyoung also had apologised for not visiting for a week. He said that he’d been busy with work, and he was still thinking about what happened with Taeyong.

The Taeyong part was understandable, and it wasn’t really something that you could tell people. Outside of their group of three, no one knew what had happened to Taeyong, and they were going to keep it that way. Things might not end well, if _they_ heard about Taeyong being back in Korea.

Doyoung and Johnny didn’t want to go through what they’d went through when Ten’d died, and they certainly didn’t want to lose Taeyong again, not after finally getting him back. It was strange to think about, not just because Taeyong was back, but because of the circumstances that led to his return. Ten had died, so Taeyong had come back. Lose one friend, gain one back. 

It had been worse for Doyoung, to lose Ten. Johnny hadn’t been aware of what was going on, and Taeyong, as previously noted, had no clue of the details. But Doyoung, who deserved none of this, had to deal with it by himself. He’d had one of his closest friends die, and his other closest friend barely make it. 

Johnny couldn’t imagine the pain that Doyoung must’ve felt, how he’d reacted when he heard the news. Who had told him? Was it one of the hospital staff, reaching for an emergency contact?

Or had it been the police, calling to say that there’d been an accident? 

There _had_ been an accident, and it had been Johnny’s fault.

It was partially the reason why Ten had died, and it was the whole reason why Johnny no longer had a driver’s license. Or a car. 

He’d been driving somewhere with Ten, where to, he’d long since forgotten. He was driving, and he shouldn’t have been, because he was sick.  Johnny had been so exhausted, and had a constant headache, and just couldn’t focus. 

But, stupidly, he’d insisted on driving that night. 

He was doing pretty well, too. Up until he lost consciousness, and crashed the car into a lamp post.

That wasn’t what killed Ten, though. 

Ten was okay when the ambulance got there, and he was okay when they inspected him in hospital. 

Johnny, however, was not okay. He had a serious head injury, and that, combined with the severe lead poisoning, is why he didn’t know that Ten died until three days afterwards. He’d been in a coma. 

Ten had been okay, they’d checked him, and he was fine. He’d mentioned something about the fatigue and headaches, though. They took some blood, but he'd been okay. He'd _seemed_ okay.

He’d been alone when he died. 

Not from the car accident, but from the lead poisoning.

Ten had just seemed like he was dazed from shock, but he wasn’t. He was dying.

The doctors found out too late, after he’d starting seizing. It was the seizures that killed him. Stopped his breathing, couldn’t be resuscitated.

They'd tested Johnny’s blood, after Ten’s came back with high levels of lead, and it had come back the same. They'd told Johnny this, after he woke up, and after he found out about Ten. They'd told him that he was lucky to be alive.

Johnny didn't fucking feel lucky.

The only thing he felt was guilt, with the realisation that it was his fault, for not noticing they were sick, for driving that night, and for killing Ten. 

It was Johnny’s fault. 

Maybe, Doyoung knew this. Maybe, Taeyong did too. But Johnny couldn’t ask if they did. He couldn’t find the words.

It was why he’d lied to Doyoung, when he’d come to visit, three weeks since the accident. He'd lied, said his head hurt too much to hold a conversation, and Doyoung had gone back home. 

Johnny had a different kind of pain, deep in his chest. He wondered if that was what a broken heart felt like. He wondered if a broken heart could kill a person, because it sure did fucking feel like it.

Johnny had loved Ten. 

Loved him, and killed him.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a bit of a plot twist. Please give me feedback on how you're liking it so far!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please notify me of any errors so I can fix them!

Doyoung had come back a few days later, but Johnny wasn’t there. The doctors had taken him for testing, but this time, not for his blood lead levels. Something to do with his nerves, apparently.

Johnny knew a lot about nerves, considering that he was a neurologist. Doyoung did not know much about nerves at all, but he’d learned some things. Not from Johnny, but from Google. God bless Google, the all-knowing source of endless information. Whether you were looking for kimchi recipes, or the survival rates of comas, Google had you covered.

Unless you had the kind of questions that you can’t answer on the internet, such as ‘Why did Taeyong leave?’, ‘What do you say to your dead friend’s family?’ and the ever-present question of ‘Why is the universe so fucking unfair?’.

Doyoung had tried that last one many, many times, and he’d never once gotten anything close to an answer. Didn’t stop him from Googling it constantly, though.

He was trying his luck once again, when Taeyong showed up. Doyoung had become closer with Taeyong in the past week, since he was really the only person that he could talk to about the whole 'car accident, lead poisoning, dead Ten, probably depressed Johnny' situation. 

Wait, did Taeyong even know about the car accident? Or had he only heard about the lead poisoning? Doyoung didn’t feel like asking, and he couldn’t tell Johnny to tell Taeyong. For one thing, Johnny was currently not there, and there was no way in hell that Johnny would tell Taeyong _that_.

Which left it up to Doyoung. Who absolutely did not fucking want to tell Taeyong about that. But, he probably would end up having to. It seemed unfair to keep Taeyong in the dark about it. 

Why was Doyoung's life like this? Why was he the one who had to deal with everything? Some more questions that  Google couldn’t answer (and believe me, Doyoung had tried).

'Where's Johnny?'

Doyoung had forgotten that Taeyong had shown up, and he’d also forgotten that Taeyong was sitting next to him. Hopefully, he couldn’t see what Doyoung was looking up on his phone.  Because that would just be a  _ great  _ conversation topic.

‘Doctors took him. Testing for nerve damage, or whatever the fuck it was. Didn’t say how long it would take.'

Taeyong seemed content with this answer. 

There was an awkward silence. Doyoung didn’t know what to talk about, he didn’t know anything about Taeyong anymore. All he knew were  things from years ago, and those thing were definitely different now. 

‘What happened to Johnny, just before he ended up in hospital?’

Well, _that_ was certainly something to talk about. Taeyong really didn’t know, did he? Doyoung checked the time before standing up. 

‘Let’s go outside and talk. It’s a long story, and I hate sitting here.’

Taeyong stood up as well, and followed him out.

This was going to take a while. And Doyoung  was  _ really _ not looking forward to it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it being so short, also, these next couple of chapters are going to be more centred on Doyoung and Taeyong, so apologies to the Johnny fans out there! Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this story so far! Please let me know what you think!


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy early birthday Ten! rip

They eventually found a place to talk, sitting on a bench under a tree. Doyoung stared at nothing in particular, and he could feel Taeyong’s gaze on him.

‘How come we can’t talk inside?’

Wouldn’t it have made more sense if he’d asked that _before_ following Doyoung out? But, no, this was Taeyong, and the laws of human logic did not apply to him.

‘It’s boring sitting in the hallway. Also, it’s easier to explain if no one’s around.’

Taeyong looked nervous. This was at least the fourth time that he had been like this during a recent conversation, but really, was anyone keeping count? Okay, _maybe_ Doyoung was, but that was only because he found it slightly (or really fucking) irritating.

‘Okay, so, you know Johnny and Ten were both in hospital when Ten died, right?’

Taeyong nodded.

‘Do you know _why_ , though? The real reason, not because of lead poisoning.’

Taeyong looked visibly shocked at that question, which made it obvious what his answer was.

'There was a car accident. Johnny was driving somewhere with Ten, crashed into a lamp post. He passed out or something, and that’s why he crashed.’

Doyoung hated saying this. He hated thinking about the accident, the mental images that it created. It would’ve been the last time that Johnny saw Ten, but would Johnny even remember? Would he remember exactly the last time that he looked at his best friend, or was it all a blur of details, comprised of second hand information?

‘Is that… how Ten died? In the accident?’

Doyoung shook his head. Neither of them could look at one another. They just both stared at nothing, thinking about Johnny and Ten and car accidents.

‘No, Ten…Ten was fine. He was barely hurt. The accident isn’t what killed him. Almost killed Johnny, though. Serious head trauma. Did he tell you about the major symptoms of lead poisoning?'

Taeyong shrugged.

‘He told me some things, but he didn’t get to finish talking about the high level ones. We both just sorta forgot about it. Something about seizures and comas.’

The doctors had told Doyoung about the high level symptoms of lead poisoning, the ones that could easily kill someone.

The ones that had killed Ten.

They’d told him when he’d come to see Johnny, who was still very much in a coma. They'd told him that the odds were very much not in their favour, in regards to Johnny making through the night. They thought he'd following in Ten's footsteps, and seize until he died. They didn't say the last part out loud, but Doyoung knew.

It had terrified Doyoung, he’d only just found out about the accident, and Ten’s death shortly before. He didn’t want to lose Johnny, who had suddenly become his only close friend, in the span of a few short hours.

‘Johnny’s lead poisoning, combined with the head trauma, put him in a coma. He was unresponsive when the ambulance arrived. Took him three days to wake up. I went to see him, right after I'd found out about the accident and Ten, and the doctors said that the odds weren’t good, for him making it through the night. Didn’t even mention about him waking up.'

 _Fuck_ , Doyoung hated talking about this, about the worst moments of his life, and of Johnny’s. He hated remembering Johnny being in a coma, and how he'd pulled an all-nighter praying that Johnny would live to see the next day.

Doyoung suddenly realised that Taeyong wasn’t staring at nothing anymore, he was staring at Doyoung, concern written all over his features.

 _This_ was the Taeyong that Doyoung remembered, the most empathic person in their friend group, the one who would always listen. The others had always joked about him being the ‘mum’ of the group, and he had always just rolled his eyes and laughed. It was why Taeyong’s sudden departure had hurt so much, and had left a empty hole in all of their lives.

Doyoung needed to finish his story, but he couldn’t think of the right words. Instead, he looked down at his hands. Which were shaking. _Fuck_ , he was a mess.

'Ten was fine when they took him to hospital, and he was fine when they checked him over. He said something about fatigue and headaches, though. They took some blood, and that’s how they found out about the lead poisoning. Ten was long dead by then. He died alone. Had a bunch of seizures, stopped breathing. There was nothing they could do, except tell me, I guess.’

Doyoung abruptly stood up, and Taeyong jumped in shock.

‘I have to go. I’m sorry. Just… I can’t do this anymore.’

He walked off, not looking back at Taeyong.

He needed to go, to be anywhere but there, to be alone. Doyoung wasn’t sure exactly where he was when he stopped. Stopped to catch his breath, to think.

He was breathing heavily. Had he been running? He wasn’t sure. He dropped to his knees, gasped breaths turning into choked sobs. Doyoung was a mess, and thankfully, no one was around to see it.

Why had his life become this?

Why had this happened to them all?

Why was the world like this?

Doyoung couldn’t answer his own fucking questions. 

And he hated it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was a bit angsty. Hope you enjoyed reading! Please leave a comment or a kudos!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, apologies for any mistakes

Taeyong had no fucking clue what to do next.

He’d arrived at the hospital, with the purpose of visiting Johnny, but that hadn’t happened.

Instead, Doyoung had taken him outside, and explained exactly _what_ had happened to Johnny and Ten. Taeyong had no idea what he should do with that information.

Should he tell Johnny that he knows what happened? Or would that make everything a thousands times worse than it already was?

Johnny must think about the accident a lot, Taeyong presumed. Did Johnny think it was his own fault that Ten died? Did he carry the weight of his best friend’s death? 

Taeyong couldn’t ask him _that_.

He wondered why Doyoung hadn’t told him sooner. Even though he’d been away for so long, he had still been their friend. He’d left to save his friends, as well as himself. 

Never in a million years would Taeyong have predicted the outcome of his mistake, the everlasting effect it would have on the people around him. He regretted it with all his being, that one wrong move.

He’d only taken the job at that laundromat to help pay for college. It was a incredibly boring job, mostly consisting of just sitting at the counter for his entire shift.

He had no clue of the laundromat’s real purpose, of the mob that ran it. It was a front for money laundering, and Taeyong would’ve kept working there, unaware of its true motive. 

He’d only found out by accident, overhearing something he wasn’t meant to. He’d tried to quit the next day, but they wouldn’t let him. He knew too much, they said, and there was only one way to deal with someone who knew too much. They’d left the threat unfinished, but the cruel intentions lingered in the air. Taeyong had no choice but to stay there,  with the constant feeling of his life being in danger.

From that day onwards, every shift he worked there felt like he was being held hostage, and that one wrong move would mean his life would end. 

They’d never actually _hurt_ him, though. Not physically. Emotional trauma, though? He’d had enough to fuel a lifetime of nightmares. No physical trauma, not for Taeyong. 

Well, except on one occasion. Taeyong still wasn’t sure if they meant to hit him, or if it was just intimidation gone awry. 

He’d had a knife thrown at his head, or more accurately, at the wall next to his head. It’d landed slightly too close to him, leaving a cut on his ear. Taeyong still had the scar, a thin line across his helix. That had been two and a half weeks after he’d tried to quit. 

The final blow, that lead to him running away, was when he’d been pulled into the back office, and had discovered that his life was not the only one in danger. Two higher-ups had tied him to a chair, and they’d threatened him, with graphic descriptions of what would happen if he tried to quit again, or if he contacted the police.

That wasn’t the worst of it, though. Taeyong had already been made well aware of the consequences of quitting, and of police intervention.

The worst part was when they brought up his friends, making threats on the lives of Doyoung, Johnny, and Ten. They had clearly been stalking him, finding out information about his personal life, so that they could use it against him. They’d been very thorough with their research, gaining private information on not only Taeyong, but his friends, as well.

They’d gone as far as finding out Johnny’s parents’ address, all the way in Chicago. What they’d threatened to do with this information still haunted Taeyong. If he tried hard enough, he could remember their exact voices, and what they were going to do to Johnny.

‘We should kill him, shouldn’t we? Kill him, and ship his dead body back to his parents. Do you  think we should?’

Taeyong had started crying then. Crying and begging and _screaming_ at them to leave his friends out of this. They’d just laughed at him, at the sight of then-twenty year old Taeyong, tied to a chair, and begging for them to spare his friends.

They’d let him go, eventually. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, or what the current time was. He was sure of one thing, though. 

Taeyong needed to get the fuck out of Korea.

He’d left that same night, packed all his things away, and got on a one-way flight out of Seoul. He’d spent every moment in terror, praying to whatever deity that was in charge for his escape plan to work.

It had, but Taeyong still couldn’t feel safe. He wasn’t sure he ever would. It had been a bad idea, coming back to Korea, but he’d needed to. He had to find out the cause of Ten’s death, and if it was linked to him. It wasn’t, and part of Taeyong was thankful for that.

It hadn’t made Ten’s death any easier to deal with, though.

Out of their group of four, Taeyong had missed Ten the most. He felt bad admitting it, but it was true. Now, he was back in Korea, but Ten was dead.

Had his funeral already been? Taeyong wasn’t sure. Where they have held it? In Seoul, or back in Ten’s home country of Thailand?

He thought back to the last time he saw Ten, two days before he’d left. Ten had noticed the mark on Taeyong’s ear, almost a month after he’d received it. He had lied when Ten asked how it had happened, by saying that he’d walked into a door frame, and it was just a scratch. 

Taeyong missed Ten, missed everything about his friend. He’d never gotten to see him again, not even once.

_Fuck_ , Taeyong missed Ten.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's Taeyong's backstory done! Now you have some idea who 'they' are. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave me feedback!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes

After a few days, in between crying and occasionally going to work, Doyoung had come to the conclusion that he should probably talk to Johnny, about telling Taeyong about the accident. So, that was exactly what he did. Went to the hospital, and told Johnny.

Now, Doyoung hadn’t been expecting Johnny to be perfectly okay with Taeyong knowing, but he definitely hadn’t been  expecting Johnny’s actual reaction. Which was being  _ very _ annoyed with Doyoung.

‘Why the fuck would you tell Taeyong? I was going to tell him, eventually.’

Doyoung had known Johnny for a long time, and he’d gotten very good at telling when Johnny  was lying to him. Which was now. Johnny was a terrible liar, and they both knew it.

‘You were never going to tell him, were you? You were just going to keep putting it off, until you’d  both forgotten about it.’

From the look on Johnny’s face, Doyoung knew that he had gotten it right. He’d ignored the  question about Taeyong, but Johnny didn’t seem to notice.

‘It wasn’t your story to tell. It didn’t happen to you.’

Okay, so maybe Johnny was right. It wasn't Doyoung's story to tell. But, really, was Johnny in any place to tell the story? Did he even remember it? Probably not, considering that he spent most of it unconscious.

‘And what happened to _you,_ was that you crashed your car and fell into a coma. Makes for a great story, doesn’t it? There’s a big gap in your tale of events, including Ten dying. How  would you tell that story? Everything you know is just second hand information.’

Doyoung knew that he shouldn’t have said that, immediately afterwards. It was true, but that didn’t mean it was okay. Doyoung should probably apologise, but his pride wouldn’t let him. This was going to end up like the time he said they shouldn’t talk about Ten anymore. Johnny had  been  _ pissed _ , and he’d made Doyoung leave.

‘Still, you shouldn’t have told Taeyong that. Great, now he thinks it’s my fault.’

Doyoung blinked, not quite understanding Johnny’s words. Then, it hit him.

‘He thinks  _ what _ ?’

Johnny ignored Doyoung’s question, and just stared at him, a blank look on his face.

‘No, what did you say? Taeyong thinks  _ what _ is your fault?’

Johnny sighed.

‘Taeyong‘s gonna think that Ten’s death is my fault now, because you told him about the  accident. I was driving, I crashed, Ten died, it’s my fault.’

Doyoung’s heart sank.

‘Do you seriously believe that? That it was your fault, and we all blame you?’

Johnny couldn’t say anything, so he just nodded.

‘Johnny, it wasn’t your fault, okay? We don’t think that. It wasn’t your fault.’

Johnny wasn’t looking at Doyoung anymore. He just stared at the wall, sorrow written on his features.

‘Johnny, look at me. It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. You didn’t kill Ten.’

**** Doyoung’s voice was soft, in contrast to just a few minutes earlier.

‘It’s not that, it’s… the lead poisoning. I should’ve known, that we were sick.’

Johnny really blamed himself, didn’t he? Doyoung didn’t know how to convince him that it wasn’t true, that he didn’t kill Ten. He decided that pulling Johnny towards him, and hugging him, was the best choice.

‘It wasn’t your fault, okay? It wasn’t your fault.’

Johnny didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he buried his face in Doyoung’s shoulder, silent  tears running down both their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That got a bit sad, sorry about that. Fun fact: this is the last chapter that Doyoung appears in person. Hope you enjoy reading! Please leave me feedback!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any errors

It was the one month anniversary of Johnny and Ten’s car accident. Which also meant it was the one month anniversary of Ten’s untimely death.

Johnny was alone. 

Doyoung hadn’t come to visit that day, and Taeyong hadn’t been back since he’d found out about the accident. Johnny hoped that Taeyong would come back soon, so that they could finish their conversation. He didn’t have to worry about what he would tell Taeyong anymore, since Doyoung had already done it.

Johnny assumed that Taeyong would still want to talk about the accident. Presumably, to ask if he remembered any of it. Which, he didn’t, really. He only had a few memories of that night, exactly one month ago. 

Johnny remembered the headache he’d had, before he’d even got in the car. He remembered the act of driving, but not where he was driving to. He remembered Ten, very much alive, in the passenger’s seat.

But Johnny couldn’t, for the life of him, remember the last time he saw his best friend. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually _looked_ at Ten, before he blacked out, and woke up, three days later, to the news of Ten’s passing. 

The accident would’ve been the last time that Ten had seen Johnny. He wondered what that would’ve been like for Ten, seeing him unconscious, barely hanging on to life. 

What had Ten done? Had he just sat there, in shock? Had he called 119? Johnny would never get the answers to his questions, and Ten would never get to hear them.

Johnny hated being in the hospital, hated being so alone. He wished that his friends could visit more often, but unlike Johnny, they actually had lives, ones that didn’t revolve around being tired of being sick, and sick of being tired. At least, Doyoung had a life, he had a job. Johnny wasn’t sure what Taeyong did, considering he’d only been back in Korea for about three weeks. Also, Taeyong was kind of in hiding, so that _they_ didn’t find him, and murder him.

Johnny wondered what Taeyong did when he wasn’t visiting. Hopefully, nothing illegal. Maybe, Taeyong spent his time searching for his family. He used to talk about them, way back in their first year of college. Taeyong had missed them a lot, which Johnny understood. It _was_ hard to to get used to, living away from your family.  Especially if you were Johnny, and your whole family lived on the other side of the ocean, back in Chicago. 

Johnny wondered what Taeyong’s family thought happened to their son, when he’d suddenly disappeared, six years ago. He wondered how they found out.

Johnny remembered Doyoung calling Taeyong’s parents, asking if they’d heard anything from him. Had that been the moment they’d realised something was wrong? Probably.

Ten had been the first to notice, when Taeyong hadn’t shown up to any of their shared classes. He’d tried to call Taeyong, to ask if he was sick or something. Taeyong’s number had been disconnected.

That was when Ten told Johnny and Doyoung, that something must’ve happened to Taeyong. Doyoung had taken matters into his own hands, by finding Taeyong’s student records, in his search for clues as to what had happened.

The only ‘clue’ he got, though, was that Taeyong had dropped out. Which was an incredibly un-Taeyong thing to do.

They’d tried to get the police involved, at that point. It hadn’t worked. All they were told was that Taeyong had just quit school, and he just hadn’t bothered telling anyone. What helpful people.

They gave up, eventually, but Taeyong was always in the back of their minds. Eventually, they just decided to not talk about their missing friend, an unspoken agreement between the trio. It had been hardest for Ten, since they had always been close.

It was cruel to think about, the fact that the reason for Taeyong’s return was Ten’s death. 

Maybe, that’s what Taeyong did with his abundant free time, grieved for his dead friend.

That's what Johnny did, anyway. He missed Ten. Missed him so fucking much. 

Missed him with his heart and soul and pretty much  everything else. 

Missed him so much that it physically hurt. 

Johnny missed Ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone really surprised that this is angsty? Anyway, please leave me feedback!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes

Taeyong finally came back to see Johnny, just over three weeks after his first visit. The conversation had started off slowly, with Taeyong quietly bringing up that Johnny had been in the hospital for a month, by that point. 

Johnny had not expected for Taeyong to mention that, but he supposed it was leading up to them talking about _why_ Johnny had been in the hospital for that amount of time. Which, while not exactly the most pleasant of topics, was something that Johnny was prepared to talk about.

It definitely helped that Doyoung had already told the story of the accident to Taeyong, because Johnny _really_ didn’t feel up to telling it himself. Not with Ten’s death still clearly hanging over them. It made their conversation the slightest bit easier, at least for Johnny.

Taeyong, however, seemed like his mind was elsewhere. Presumably, because he was still thinking about what Doyoung had told him. Johnny didn’t blame him.

So, instead of bringing up the obvious topic of Taeyong knowing the truth, they ending up talking about Johnny. Which, was definitely in the top five of Johnny’s least favourite things to talk about (the other four, in no particular order, were Taeyong’s disappearance, lead poisoning, the car accident, and Ten being dead).

‘How much longer do you think you’ll be in hospital for? Like, just a rough guess.’

Johnny actually had to think hard about that question. He’d never really considered how long his hospital stay would last, just that it felt like it had been going on forever.

‘I actually have no fucking idea. I asked once, and they said that it depends on how much damage the lead did to my nerves, or something like that. Probably a couple more months, if I'm lucky.’

Well, Taeyong _did_ ask for a rough guess. Johnny had provided exactly that.

‘What about the head trauma?’

Oh. Johnny forgot about that part. Which was ironic, since amnesia was a possible side effect of both serious head trauma, and being in a coma. Johnny was pretty sure that he _didn’t_ have amnesia, he probably would have found out by now, a month later.

‘I don’t _think_ it would change how much longer I’m here for, but maybe they’d want to see if I had any long term issues.’

Head trauma was a difficult thing to predict. It wasn’t always clear exactly what the effects on the patient would be. But, Johnny hadn’t really had any issues, besides from the whole slipping-into-a-coma thing. Nothing else had really come of it.

‘Is it okay if I ask about the car accident? You can say no, I get if you don’t want me bringing it up.'

You could say a lot of things about Taeyong, but you couldn’t deny that he was a good friend. He might have abandoned everything to save his own life, but, when it came down to details, he was a good friend. Johnny appreciated Taeyong asking him, instead of just bringing up what was, undoubtedly, the worst night of Johnny’s life.

'Sure, ask away.'

‘Do you remember any of it?’

Johnny shook his head.

‘Not the accident. I don’t remember anything from it at all. I remember driving, and I had a headache, and Ten was with me. That’s all I remember from that night.’

That, and the overwhelming feeling of being ill.

Why had Johnny driven that night?

He had obviously known that he was sick, so why did he still do it?

Johnny would never tell Taeyong this, however. He would never tell Doyoung, either.

This would be a secret that Johnny would take to his eventual grave, and he would carry it with him throughout whatever afterlife there was.

Even if that afterlife involved a certain Thai best friend, one who went by the name of ‘Ten’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last proper chapter of the story! Final one is a sort of flashback/coma dream type thing, and it features a not-quite-dead-yet Ten! Anyway, please let me know what you think of this!


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for suicide attempt

_ Johnny was standing on a roof.  _ _ He didn’t remember how he’d gotten there.  _ _ He could feel cold wind lashing at him, stinging his face. _

_ He walked closer to the edge, and peered over it. He couldn’t see the ground, or any other buildings. Only clouds awaited him.  _

_ There was a railing on the edge, with about half a metre of concrete beyond it. Johnny climbed over the railing, and held onto it. _

_ There was nothing standing between him and death anymore. All he had to do was take a step forward, and he would be free. Free from all the pain and suffering the world had to offer. His mind felt at peace.  _

_ His body, however, did not. Hands, shaking as he gripped the railing, knuckles turning white. Heart, pounding in his chest, every beat thudding in his ears. Every muscle, nerve, every fiber of his being, screaming at him, ‘stop’.  _

_ His mind was saying ‘go’, ‘take a step’, ‘be free’.  _

_ Johnny didn’t know which one to listen to. So, he stood there. Not quite ready to jump, but not backing away, either. He was in limbo, between the living world, and the one of the deceased. _

_ Johnny could feel tears sliding down his face. Whether they were from the wind, or from fear, he did not know. Maybe, it was both. Maybe, it was neither. Maybe, they were tears of relief, at finally getting to be free. At how close freedom was.  _

_ But was it really ‘freedom’? _

_ In Johnny’s mind, it was. Freedom, from pain, from suffering, from the world. freedom from everything.  _

_ You just had to be willing to take a step forward. _

_ Johnny was willing. He had accepted that this would become his fate, long ago. To his mind, he was already gone, already taken that step.  _

_ But his body wouldn’t let him go. Not yet. His petrified, useless body wouldn’t let him leave.  _

_ It would be so easy to be free, so why couldn’t Johnny just let go?  _

_ Why couldn’t he separate himself from the one thing keeping him there? _

_ Why? _

_ He suddenly became aware of his surroundings, looking down at the clouds. He heard footsteps behind him.  _

_ Someone was here.  _

_ Someone was going to see him like this, and they would stop him. _

_ Someone would save him, and Johnny didn’t want that. _

_ Someone was here. _

_ ‘You need to come back. You have to stay.’ _

_ Johnny couldn’t move, couldn’t turn and look at the someone who spoke. He knew that voice, almost as well as he knew his own. Johnny couldn’t look. _

_ Couldn’t face Ten. _

_ ‘I want to be free.’ _

_ Ten was behind him now, warm hands on top of his. How was Ten so warm, even in this wind? _

_ ‘Stay here. They need you here.’ _

_ They were facing each other, now. Ten holding tightly onto Johnny’s hands, not letting him go.  _

_ Johnny still couldn't move.  _

_ Why had Ten come?  _ _ How had he known, that he would be here? _

_ ‘Step over. I’ve got you, it’s fine.’ _

_ Johnny did as Ten told him. _

_ Why was he so weak? Why hadn’t he just taken that step forward?  _

_ Now, he was going to have to live. _

_ ‘I wanted to go. Why won’t you let me?’ _

_ Johnny’s voice was barely a whisper. Ten tightened his grip, he was determined to make sure Johnny stayed alive. _

_ ‘You can’t go. It’s not your time. Stay, and live.’ _

_ Ten was walking somewhere, Johnny in tow. He was leading them to a door, one that Johnny  _ _ hadn’t noticed before. Ten let go of Johnny’s hand. _

_ ‘I have to stay here, but you need to go. Go and live and be happy. I’ll wait for you, until it’s your time.' _

_ Johnny didn’t want to leave Ten.  _

_ Why couldn’t now be his time? Who decided that he had to go on without Ten?  _

_ Johnny wanted to stay there, on the edge. But Ten wouldn’t let him. _

_ ‘Ten, don’t leave me. I need you. Please, don’t leave me.’ _

_ Johnny was crying.  _

_ Ten grabbed his hand, and pulled him close. He had to stand on his toes in order to properly hug Johnny, but neither of them cared. _

_ Ten whispered something in Johnny’s ear, voice low and soft. _

_ This would be the last time that they would speak to each other, until many, many years later.  _ _ Johnny would always remember Ten’s words, even though he would no longer be with him. _

_ ‘Johnny, you have to wake up.’ _

_ And Johnny, who would’ve followed Ten to the ends of the earth, had the younger desired it, did  _ _ exactly as he was told.  _

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of 'What Led Us Here'! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you to everyone who left kudos!


	18. NOT AN UPDATE

Hello!

So, I am a colossal idiot, and forgot to mention that there will be a sequel!

It's the events of this story, but all from Taeyong's point of view, so you get to see more of his side of things!

Also, around half of the story is flashbacks, which takes place when they're in college, shortly before Taeyong leaves! (I won't mention anything else because spoilers)

I hope to have the first chapter up in the next couple of days!

Thank you!

 


	19. ALSO NOT AN UPDATE

Hello again!

'Tis I, the author, here to again inform you all that I am an idiot.

I know I said I would publish chapter one of the sequel in the next couple of days, and I know that it has been a couple of days, and that there is no sequel yet.

I am very sorry, but I've been very busy with school, and so I haven't had time to edit my draft yet.

I promise you all that I will have up by next Monday (if I don't, please feel free to yell at me)

Thank you


	20. SEQUEL OUT NOW

Hello!

'Tis me again, the author!

I finally got around to editing my sequel draft, and the first chapter is out now!

I hope you enjoy it!

Thank you!


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